The Will to be True Blog

Today as I walked around the boxes which contain artifacts and treasures from the past ten years of my life, I reflected on the sadness which loss always brings, even as I look with anticipation towards the future.
I have never been one to dwell on negatives but I often think about the difference between losing a loved one and losing a dream.
Our family and close friends are tied into the plans we make for our future but a dream is born of ourselves and represents the creative forces which drive our soul forward to its life lessons.
Women have traditionally had this creative force  realized with the conception and birth of a child. What of women who never conceive?  What do they have to drive their lives forward?  It has always been a question in my head and a reason why I celebrate all women on Mother’s day.  I was once told that the ability to create is not confined to procreation but all things which are born of our desire.

I have been lucky to have children and a strong creative drive. I thank my teachers past and present for their input.

Many years ago, I realized a dream to become an interfaith minister.  My hope was to establish and operate a small church or sanctuary which would be the home base of  services geared towards women affected by a challenging history.  The Sanctuary at Hestia’s Hearth became a reality. The loss of my business partner and best friend just after our opening didn’t derail the program and services,  but the energy needed to sustain it.
Five years after her death, I finally acknowledged the realization that the dream was not to be fulfilled in the way it was first envisioned. With a few prayers, I found a loving couple, or rather they found me and chose to live in the home attached to the Sanctuary.

As I survey the boxes  filled with treasures and collectables which had been chosen to grace the walls and tables and corners of the sanctuary, I have come to understand that they represent nothing unless I choose to make them the symbols of a failed enterprise.  They are not the dream nor are they  attached to the dream.  The dream is with me and dies when I die unless I allow it fall by the wayside of self defeat.

So I have said my goodbye to the dear friend who taught me much about life.  I will say my goodbyes to the building, the things, the space and even the person I was ten years ago and move on to a future whose enterprise is yet to be realized but whose dream is alive and well.