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Posts Tagged ‘crossroads’

Quite a few years ago, I was travelling from California to Ontario by car. The drive, as always, was spectacular. I didn’t do too much driving. My best friend loved being behind the wheel of the car. She could drive for hours without taking a break. I just relaxed, enjoyed the scenery, and kept her awake when I had to.  I also did something new on that trip. I read a book and kept a diary. We were never short of conversation but she had experienced a life changing event and needed to think.  I respected that and kept quiet.

Now when I look back ten years later, I am shocked by the change in me over the years, some of it motivated by the book, and some by re-reading the diary I kept.
The book I read was called Spiritual Mentoring. In it, I found a passage which left me breathless. I loved the book so much that I bought copies for all my close friends.
Recently, this book came into my sight again. This is a standard way of triggering memories.

Originally, I bought the book before I went back to school to get a divinity degree. It was long before I started actively pursuing the type of Ministry which filled my dreams and long before my best friend passed away.
Today, more than ten years later, I stand at a crossroads of past, present and future. Maybe I have 15 or 20 or 30 years left to live. Who knows? Probably shouldn’t care either. Each day we stand at that crossroads and contemplate what life will hold. Some look far into the future. Others lament the past. I have learned to look at today.
Today I realize that Spiritual Mentoring is the culmination of the past hopes and dreams meeting the reality of today.
So on this day, really the last day or two of innocence, before JFK was killed and the world changed for the boomer generation, no matter where we lived, today is the day to sit at the crossroads and take the future signpost, write on it what I expect that future to be, and then follow my path.

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I started writing again because the dream I thought was my destiny did not materialize. I was thrown off course. While standing at the crossroads of indecision, I thought myself lost. Just about the same time, the DVD collection of Beauty and the Beast the TV series came out. That was another dream which finally came true: a full copy of all three seasons. I never thought I would see the whole three seasons again.  I didn’t think anyone cared about the show.  Boy was I wrong!

A chance encounter with an online group got me thinking about a storyline that I would like to write, inspired by my best friend who had passed away. I found Fanfiction or it found me. While writing there, I remembered another twenty year old story of mine which had been inspired by the original series. I pulled it off the shelf, retyped it, edited the writing a bit and then got it published. So, one door closed and another opened. Perhaps feeling lost at the crossroads was just what I needed to step out of the abyss of self pity and get on with life.

There are still dreams about doing what I had planned but as the years pass, I realize it is perhaps better to fulfill my own destiny and not something which feels like destiny but in reality is a self imposed obligationhich serves no one. I can do something similar or do things differently. I learned that teaching and learning doesn’t always have to be in a traditional format.  There are many ways to learn. 

The Dream

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