Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for May, 2011

Today as I walked around the boxes which contain artifacts and treasures from the past ten years of my life, I reflected on the sadness which loss always brings, even as I look with anticipation towards the future.
I have never been one to dwell on negatives but I often think about the difference between losing a loved one and losing a dream.
Our family and close friends are tied into the plans we make for our future but a dream is born of ourselves and represents the creative forces which drive our soul forward to its life lessons.
Women have traditionally had this creative force  realized with the conception and birth of a child. What of women who never conceive?  What do they have to drive their lives forward?  It has always been a question in my head and a reason why I celebrate all women on Mother’s day.  I was once told that the ability to create is not confined to procreation but all things which are born of our desire.

I have been lucky to have children and a strong creative drive. I thank my teachers past and present for their input.

Many years ago, I realized a dream to become an interfaith minister.  My hope was to establish and operate a small church or sanctuary which would be the home base of  services geared towards women affected by a challenging history.  The Sanctuary at Hestia’s Hearth became a reality. The loss of my business partner and best friend just after our opening didn’t derail the program and services,  but the energy needed to sustain it.
Five years after her death, I finally acknowledged the realization that the dream was not to be fulfilled in the way it was first envisioned. With a few prayers, I found a loving couple, or rather they found me and chose to live in the home attached to the Sanctuary.

As I survey the boxes  filled with treasures and collectables which had been chosen to grace the walls and tables and corners of the sanctuary, I have come to understand that they represent nothing unless I choose to make them the symbols of a failed enterprise.  They are not the dream nor are they  attached to the dream.  The dream is with me and dies when I die unless I allow it fall by the wayside of self defeat.

So I have said my goodbye to the dear friend who taught me much about life.  I will say my goodbyes to the building, the things, the space and even the person I was ten years ago and move on to a future whose enterprise is yet to be realized but whose dream is alive and well.

Read Full Post »

Art by PCS

For the past three years, our organization has hosted a women’s group called the Wise Women’s Circle. It is an opportunity for women of all ages, from the community, to gather and talk and learn. The goal is to help each other open up to new possibilities. The group is small but faithful to the process.
Last year, as I noted here, we worked on the idea of a vision board which would detail any aspect of our lives that we wanted to highlight. The project was meant to open a personal door and capturing unfulfilled goals or finding new ones. The six month long project was a fun exercise in learning more about our strengths.
We have also spent a good deal of time studying the art and beauty contained in Tarot cards as well as the healing aspects of music and aromatherapy scents.  The art work is a drawing by Pamela Coleman Smith the illustrator of the Rider Waite Smith Tarot deck.
As a group leader, it fills my need to find a creative self as well as  supporting the efforts of women who walk the path of  wise elders who came before us.
I cherish this aspect of my community life and look forward to participating in this years activities.
Note to self: Never ask anyone else to do something which you wouldn’t do.

Read Full Post »

Plodding on

I can’t believe how single minded I was in getting my first book published.  Definitely not my usual character which embraces many forms of  procrastination.  I just can’t apply myself in a steadfast way to stuff which doesn’t interest me.  My second book does.  I loved the story line and embraced the characters.  Why the big slowdown? 

Unlike the last time when I had to make a neverending series of costly corrections, I decided this time to be absolutely sure that the finished product was definitely finished.  However what I learned is that reader fatigue comes with practiced work.  After all this time, the words flow in my vision and I hardly have to read the pages.   I have seen each one of the 65,000 words many times.  I have written them, pondered them and applied them to paper so many times that even when the mind knows change is necessary, it can’t do it.  I just don’t see it!

So I set my book aside.  I immersed myself in writing another book for the online fanfic series which is almost done. Then  and only then did I decide to review book II.  Really, it was like looking at a new story.  Not so many errors this time. 

Making hard copies is useful for me.  Perhaps that’s not true for  everyone born of  the computer generation but I grew up reading and hard copies make me feel secure.

So the final copy is off to the publishers.  I look forward to getting the ‘hard copy’ from them.  Nothing ever happens in isolation.  My sister is a wonderful help in editing.  She questions threads which don’t connect.  Her new husband is an extraordinary photographer.  His work is on the front and back cover. 

Because I am writing here, I think excitement is beginning to thread through my veins.

Read Full Post »