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We are but a shadow, fleeting almost invisible on earth’s landscape
How we mark our time speaks to the comfort of our souls
Let me not pass this time in mindless sorrow and regret for things past
But embrace my soul’s purpose with reckless abandon of face and feature
Knowing that I may serve, not in fear, but with the courage of the lion.
Beauty and The Beast, The Nature of Purpose,

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told ya so!

This is my happiest Academy Awards in years!

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I could not allow the day to pass without a comment on tomorrow’s Academy Awards. As any reader of this blog will know, my heart is with the King.
True to form, I will not be able to enjoy the show. I will be working and no doubt some baby will be needing to make its way into the world just at that moment when the winner is announced.
Does it matter if I see it now or later? Yes, because the heart pounding wait and the excitment of the announcement cannot be recreated in any other form. So I will try to find a way to capture the two minutes to sit and watch the moment. OK, I have heard of TV phones and the internet but sitting at home, on the couch, favourite drink in hand, and hopes high is the real way to enjoy the award show, short of being there. In my dream world, I will be there someday.

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I looked back on the blog post Gira Con Me.  That was in June 2010.  I did long to write another story and Ok I did, two in fact!. This current novelette  flew out of Terry and Jason`s wedding story (Doorways of Perception) on Beauty and the Beast Fanfic. I love taking a complex story and tying it into another. `Blunt Thou the Lion`s Paw` is one which moves me in ways that no other has except the original ‘Thy Sweet Love Remembered’. 

The original premise of most BATB fans was to return Catherine to her lover, part man, part beast Vincent. We held our hearts during this TV series from the 80’s and many of us died in our hearts with Catherine as she left her lover and infant son behind. True to the infallible premise of TV serials/soap operas, the dead can return and there are numerous BATB-SND (she’s not dead) stories online written by faithful fans, including me, who were not satisfied with the horrific ending to what seemed to be a perfect love story. What started out as a fun way to pass the time has become an absorbing hobby with the power to connect me with so many other readers, writers and romantics. And because I`m writing and practising a craft, I have been able to complete two full novels started years ago and get them published.
To create the first story in my series, I listened to Ron Perlman’s Of Love and Hope constantly. Each piece could recall a memory or snippet of one of the shows and fed what was past history into the present story writing. The original series was rich with detail, enough for me to take one or two shows and create nine stories of my own so far. As the characters move forward with their lives and others come and go, I realize how much a piece of music makes the words flow and the story come alive. When Jacob and Cathy got married, the music of Enya made everything fall into place mentally and emotionally. Without the threads of a song, I am not able to find my creative muse. When Jacob and Cathy attended the Governor`s ball in `Judgement of the Heart` Josh Groban`s rendering of Gira Con Me, helped me to visualize what that would look like.
The current offering is a little more melancholic with elements of grief and loss dominating the story line.
However, love will override all and there will be a happy ending, I hope. My muse has not allowed me to know what she has put into my mind but the choice of song is a curious one. I wonder if there is anyone else out there who doesn`t know the ending to a story they are writing but wait for it to evolve.

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Three in the morning

I don’t know if three in the morning is any better than four but at least at four am I can legitimately sing Paul Simon’s song.  On my mind these days is Rod Stewart’s American songbook.  He is singing my music.  No matter how old I get, or what comes on the market, I am just old enough to have been born at the time when Judy Garland, Andy williams, Peggy Lee, Eartha Kitt, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and so many other came on to those old variety shows and sang the standards which we all knew and loved.  The Ed Sullivan hour among others,  was a staple in our house, but then my parents loved music and so did I.

This morning, the only sounds are the ongoing wail of the little ones who are trying to sleep in a world which makes no sense to their weird unknown bodies, no longer floating around in water and yet real.  The mothers are bleary eyed and wondering what they were thinkin when they decided to have another baby.  I don’t blame them.  I just sent off an email to a friend saying that I would never want to take one home again.  I would rather negotiate a sale.  I didn’t feel like that when I was twenty four and bringing home my first.  What a difference forty years makes! 

OK so childrearing is hard and babies take a lot of work and I could spend hours teaching new parents about not taking their kids too seriously and try to have fun with them.  They do grow up and get better sometimes,  but at three in the morning when the screaming cry has been going on for hours and the kid shows no sign of wanting to sleep ever and Mom’s backs and breasts ache and Dad is gone home and sleeping in the nice queen sized bed, they must wonder what the hell was I thinking!

So back to music and Rod Stewart…what comes to mind this morning at three am is a really old favourite, ‘That Old Black Magic’.  It used to be a performed by all the old singers but none were as exciting as Keeley Smith and Sam Butera.  Their antics always had me laughing.  It is also my power song for the most recent novelette in the Beauty and the Beast fanfic stories.  Well I need a little magic to get me through the rest of the morning until it’s time to go home.  Please make it soon….

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After years of giving most award shows a pass, I have not missed one in part or whole as I wait patiently for the awards to reach the end.
The SAGs were lovely. Short and sweet. Ernest Borgnine was touching. He has been a favourite of mine over the years. Who could forget his eye twinkle in The Dirty Dozen. That was just a sample of many years of dedicated service to his craft. An easily recognizable character actor always.  Bravo for him! Borgnine and Betty White are prime examples of seniors making a contribution as very positive role models for graceful and productive aging.
But, it is my dear Colin Firth who holds my heart. Another win, another speech to thank his peers for recognizing what his fans always knew.

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A little while ago, I wrote about signs and omens and the need to pay attention to simultaneous or concurrent events in your life.
So I am trapped at the moment in two events which have meaning but the message is not clear.
Two friends recently travelled to Africa. They did not go together and don’t know each other at all. They went to different places for different reasons. Both returned with a cloth gift for me. I was surprised and pleased by both.
One was a cloth purse made in Kenya. It had a simple shoulder strap, was big enough to hold a couple of books, could be closed with a zippered edge. As a purse lover, really I have lots  of bags and costly ones too and yet I adore the simple function of the gift from Kenya.
My other cloth gift was a Masai Shula in a red and blue plaid. It doesn’t have the same look as a tartan but the colours are similar to the MacGregor Clan which is featured in my new book. The second friend travelled to Tanzania on a humanitarian effort. Why she thought to bring something back for me, I don’t know but I was surprised and pleased to have a gift from the continent of some of my ancestors.
So what does it mean to have a simple purse and a simple piece of material to wrap my body? Don’t know. but if anyone out there has an idea…..?

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Oh how lovely. Now I am delighted with the outcome of the Academy nominations. 12, count em, 12 nods for my, so far, favourite! I love that guy, Colin Firth, more and more every day.
So even when I thinking like the big guys and swimming with them, in reality I was on a surf board, well ahead.
What lovely way to end my night work and start a new day.

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I feel like I am on a roll, although it’s not about me. Colin Firth won the Golden Globe! Poor Johnny Depp. He at least deserved a better fate but I suppose everyone can’t win. I am happy about the outcome. Mr Firth’s speech was lovely and inclusive. Keeping my fingers crossed for future awards. Now I feel like I am swimming with the big guys.

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I wrote ‘The Will to be True’ and finished it with every intention of putting the darn thing away. It was nicely bound in a three ring binder (ugh!) with some old black and white graphics as a cover. The idea was to write and not necessarily publish. Publishing came later…much later. It took twenty years in fact to get that book to press. For one thing, the story was incomplete, too short, and the characters were not well rounded. Now a days, I consider that merely a draft.  then,  I thought my life was complete.  Writing for Dummies says that there may be many drafts before the final product is ready to go to market and in hindsight, they are right.
Taking two years to get to a final product was the best thing that could have happened. I wrote 7 other stories in the meantime and got a feel for how I would really like to present a book to the world.
Another book which I wrote soon after The Will to be True is also now complete and on its way to the printer.
I don’t have the same angst about sending Suspect, Love out. It is not as long as the first book. It is complete and a story which I have longed to tell. Fated love! I believe very strongly in that principle.
I was deeply inspired to flesh out that draft and get it to press by thoughts which come to me from some other source. In book 8 of the Beauty and the Beast stories on fanfiction, I wrote this exchange between two of the seconday characters.
‘Because, I firmly believe in the power of fate to draw the right people together at the right time and I truly believe that fate and faith takes us to certain places in this life which will provide the opportunity to grow and learn. If you had a clear vision when you first saw your wife, you will know what I am talking about. Do you remember the moment you felll in love with her?’

‘The instant I saw her on a horse. When I watched her ride, she was without equal. It was as if she and the animal were one. The raw potential of it generated feelings in me which I had never experienced.’

There may not be many people who experience that kind of love at the outset, but if we think about it, many of us know in the instant when the love is for real if we open ourselves to it the insight.  I will never be able to craft a story which doesn’t have some secondary issues of trouble or trauma but the love will always transcend the setbacks. 

My dear brother in law has provided me with the most fitting photos for the cover.  I am very excited about seeing the finished product.

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