Archive for November, 2010

About the book!

The Will to be True was written about twenty years ago. At that time, I was highly motivated to write a story with complex characters and issues. The type of work I did, always taught me that the human condition contains a multitude of nuances within us which can be at play in any given situation. Sometimes we don’t know why we are motivated to react or respond to situations. Perceptions about the way we interact with people are filtered through lenses attached to the heart of each of us and monitored even more thoroughly by our ‘cellular memory’, a very powerful body ‘first responder’

My sister and I, in a discussion about the main character, realized that we saw her completely differently.  At first I was dismayed thinking that I had portrayed Stephanie as weak and ineffectual. That had not been my intention but the perception, on reflection, was quite plausible.

This blog is about the book and a little of what I see as I move through life. I hope that anyone with a strong view of my characters would write me. I would love to get a sense of how others see these characters.
In the Shadow of the Blackbird was written more recently, or rather completed more recently. I can tell by the style of writing how different I am as a person and a narrator by the choice of words and situations.  A twenty year evolution for me!
There is a hope that we all evolve but my question will always be from what to what? Do we get better with age or more stuck in the ruts and grooves of life?
No the book is not autobiographical. Some parts of it are wishful thinking and dreams yet to be fulfilled, some parts are a narration of other’s stories, some daydreaming, and some recollections of places visited. If you know me, and see parts of yourself there, I thank you for contributing. If you don’t know me and see yourself there, then you understand that some actions and reactions are universal and not always available to our conscious mind. If this book helps you to find a kinship with something inside of you that needed a voice, then it will have served its purpose.


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My mother, the car….

It’s been quite a while since I’ve owned a car.  My last owned vehicle was a Ford van,  which I purchased in 2000.  It was three years old and had ‘work horse’ stamped all over it.  I bought it with the idea of transporting clients back and forth from the airport to my delightful spa place in the country where me and my gang of healers would help women to renew life and spirit.  That dream didn’t pan out as I hoped but as long as I still had the van, it was a possibility.

That was a decade ago.  The van was indeed a work horse and life saver.  My husband was driving when he was hit by another car.  The sturdy van, seat belt and airbag saved his life.  But  it meant that another part of my dream had faded. 

In between, it’s purchase and its demise, the long distance travelling began to take its gas toll on my pocket, so I invested in a small efficient car which served me well.  When the lease expired, just months after the van’s untimely demise, , I had to make a decision.  With the van gone, I needed a vehicle which would meet all my needs.  I had a plan to get another larger type of van-truck combo, but my husband already had another van.  ‘Get a car’ he advised.  And, I did.

I don’t know how I suddenly became aware of how much owning a car is different from leasing.  This is my transport now.  I don’t keep it neat.  It carries everything I may ever need at any given time.  I know that.  It watches over me while I drive with all its electronics and gadgets in constant motion.  Nice,  but my needs are simple.  I have to be able to play my mp3 players.  I have three of them and hundreds of songs to listen to.  The play list is my best friend.  A bluetooth device mostly saves me from distracted driving, if I remember to turn it on. 

In the front seat, with the winter approaching, I notice that there is a growing pile of warm things, like gloves, hats, extra sweaters, scarf, etc.  There are four large handbags, one for each of my different jobs.  When I arrive at work, I just pick up which ever one is designated for that site.  There’s an extra handbag in the trunk, just in case, I get a new job. 

There are wires for my large portable speaker system and a lecturn in case I am doing public speaking and the site doesn’t have one.  I have a full library of books to read in case I get stuck somewhere.  (last count 32).  There is a candle, incense, aromatherapy, oils and creams in case my hands are dry and I need an uplifting scent.  Nail file, and buffer, for that quick on the go manicure.  There are extra wires and USB lines for the endless electronic equipment which needs renewal i.e. computers, Ipod, Bluetooth camera.

It is hardly worthwhile talking about all the binders full of papers, (good if I need to start a fire to keep warm) and shoes.  The only thing missing and the reason why I did this inventory was a lack of facilities.  When my friend and I used to do long distance driving, we had a porto-potty.  That’s missing!  And in the extras ‘I don’t need it category’ are boxes of baby clothes.  Don’t even ask about the number of green bags which I always remember when I am done shopping and the cart, to carry my groceries and save my shoulders.  (Oh yeah! forgot that too!)

Inside my little moving house is everything I need to sustain life and keep in touch with the world.  I am sure most people have as much if not more.  I’ve seen cars piled high with junk.  It is just amazing how much of our lives is spent on the road.  I want a car to take care of me and make me feel safe, with numerous  things inside to nurture me, just as my mother did.  In turn, I will take care of it too.

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Pumpkin Faces

The big Hallowe’en treat day is over.  Candies are distributed and hopefully not too many of the kids ate too much.  Costumes varied between what could be thrown together and some genuine character changes.  It got just interesting towards the end.  I don’t have small kids around to make the day extra special.  My observations and memories will centre on the following day.  As I drove through my little housing scheme, I was struck by the number of dead pumpkins lined up  at the curb, along the street.  Before the big night, many homes had several pumpkins on display at windows, on steps and verandahs, carved out with faces in all  states of happiness to horror.  To see these hollow hallowe’en emoticons lined up at the curb waiting to be sent to the big pumpkin patch in the sky, I felt sorry for the loss of light behind the faces which charmed, frightened, or cheered us up as we drove through the streets in the days leading up to the holiday.

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